Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The adults are the big ones right?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
