she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
