Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
