he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
