Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
