I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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