i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
