In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
