Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I want a musical about memes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
