I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What drink are we having for lunch?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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