whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
