I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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