Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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