whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
