Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
