Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize