I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
