Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
