I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
