i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
