Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
