I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
