Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
