I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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