You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
