Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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