so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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