physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
