Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
