this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
