Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
