on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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