before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
