you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
