Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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