Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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