i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
