Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize