peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
