All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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