What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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