I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
