I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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