saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
