You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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