Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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