hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
