I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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