he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize