PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
